So many people talk about “self care” these days, especially when one is suffering from a mental illness, as well as things like stress and fatigue. But there’s something that many people don’t realise: Self care might not be what you think it is.
The question I am going to ask is, how do you view self care? Is it purely taking time out to be alone, to take a breath and relax? Treating yourself to coffee on the way to or from work? A long bubble bath at the end of a big day? A massage? An extra piece of cake – because you deserve it?
I have a simple answer for you. No. That is not self care. That is what I call “self love”. Self love is not a bad thing at all; it is in fact important, as long as it is not over-indulged. (But that’s for another post, on another day.)
Let’s talk more now about what “self care” really is.
The definition of self care is: [noun] – care of the self without medical or other professional consultation (Dictionary.com).
“Care of the self”. This means taking care of and looking after yourself, which is, quite simply, doing things that are healthy for you.
There is more than one way that you need to do this; you need to take care of your physical health, your mental health, and your spiritual health. I just want to touch on each of these briefly to explain.
Physical health:
Drink lots of water and stay hydrated. Have the salad and vegetables. Cook properly instead of for convenience if you have the time. Go for a walk, exercise, and spend time in the fresh air. Do the things that get your blood pumping, and believe me (this is coming from someone who’s not so keen on the exercise side of things!) you’ll feel SO much better!
If you can’t get out of the house to exercise, that’s okay! We don’t all have the time or energy to be able to be consistent. But maybe you can manage a short walk to the gate and back. Try walking briskly when you’re on a mission with those jobs instead of strolling. Oh, and have another glass of water while you’re at it 🙂
Mental health:
One thing that is really important is grounding yourself. What I mean is, you need to be in the here and now. Be present in your body, ‘stop and smell the roses’, and really feel. Breathe in the air and feel the warm sun.
Some of that might sound pretty weird to some people, and I was a tad skeptical about it all too. But it works. Not for everyone, but a lot of people find that grounding really helps.
You also need to remove negative influences from your life. That’s a big thing, and also pretty difficult. I sure struggle with it at times. But I mean in particular the major things that are weights you don’t need to be carrying. Don’t always watch the news. Take some time out from social media. Avoid the negative people in your life; if someone or something is weighing you down, take a step back. You need to take care of yourself first.
Taking up hobbies or reading a good book can be beneficial, too. On my bad mental health days, sometimes all I can do is survive by distractions. I thrive on those when I can’t face things. Read a book. Watch some of that series you ‘put aside for a rainy day’. Whatever you do, just take care of that beautiful brain of yours. It’s so important because if your brain isn’t functioning well, then you won’t be either.
Spiritual health:
This one is absolutely vital. Your soul needs care. Take time to be alone in peace and quiet to really focus; pray, meditate, and practise mindfulness. Talk to God, read your Bible, study the Scriptures. If you aren’t a Christian, maybe this is an opportunity for you to consider what you believe. Really seek answers.
Sometimes, I think, when people’s spiritual health isn’t so good, they grow more tired, and are more prone to mental health problems such as depression. The soul grows tired, and when it begins to falter, you will too.
So basically, what you need to do are the things that are healthy for your mind, body and soul. And remember, you don’t need to be afraid to reach out if things get to be too much for you. Life can be overwhelming, we get stressed, and we feel low; but strength is greater in numbers. Friends and family are there to help each other, so don’t hesitate to reach out to someone.
Alright my friends, take care of yourselves (and of each other). Make sure you practise these three methods of self care, especially when things grow tough. And remember, yes, the hard times are real, but so are the good times. So is peace, and so is joy. 🙂
Blessings to you all.
Julie xo