Dearest Friend,
It’s been a while since we spoke, but I have seen the change in you. I wish I could say it’s a good sort of change. But it isn’t. Darkness has so clearly taken a hold of you, and the change in your face, your expression, your eyes… oh my friend. I see you in your pain and your brokenness. And I am just so, so sorry.
I know your life hasn’t always been easy. You’ve had countless struggles over the years, you’ve suffered great loss – greater than I can comprehend – and you have been through hell.
I am so sorry that I haven’t been able to help you these past months. I have tried… but sometimes, you still hold up that wall and you think I don’t see what’s going on. In our conversations, you’re always ‘doing just fine’, or ‘good enough’; you don’t always let me in. And you know, that’s honestly okay, I’m not here to force you. As long as you are okay. As long as you have someone. Even if that someone isn’t me, I just want you to know you aren’t alone. You are loved. You don’t need to walk alone in the dark.
Oh, my friend. I wish I could somehow make your world right again. Make things beautiful for you. But I will be totally honest with you: I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know how I can help you. I will not pretend to understand what you are going through, because I know I never could. But I will tell you this: I love you. I love you so much. You have no idea in the world just how much I love you. No, I might not understand what you have been through and seen in your life. Especially not now. Oh yes, I know darkness. I know the demons that come in the night. I know that world so very well. But something in your world is different from what I have seen. You have been hurt differently from how I have been hurt. But I am here for you, and I will always be here for you. You beautiful soul, I wish I could explain to you just how much you mean to me. Help you to understand how precious you are and how your life is so worthwhile. Not just to me, but to so many.
I don’t know what kind of support network you have these days, or how many people know of the darkness you are facing right now. But I want you to know that I am here for you. Regardless of the amount of connection we have lately, I will still look out for you my friend, I’ll still answer your calls, and always be here for you if you need to reach out to someone. One thing in this world that you can count on: I’m here for you, I love you, and I’ve got your back. Always.
It’s up to you now, my dear friend, I can’t do much more from here. I can only love you from a distance and pray for you. But I can’t accept the fact anymore that you are going to tell me that you are doing just fine when I know that you’re really not. That’s what you so often do, but I won’t pretend anymore. So please… reach out to someone. To anyone. I need you to be okay. I love you. And just think; if I need you in my life and need you to be okay, how many others do? Promise me you won’t ever forget how much you matter.
I hope we will talk soon. But that’s up to you now.
Love you always,
Your ever-loyal friend.
Image 1 Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash
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Image 3 https://www.brainyquote.com/topics/friendship
