Most of my life, including my entire childhood, I wanted to be a mum. I wanted to get married, have children, and homeschool them. I knew a few working mums, some who still managed to homeschool, but mostly the ones who worked sent their kids to school. I never experienced a ‘real’ school; I was homeschooled grades 1 through 12. I suppose my background of a) homeschooling, and b) my mum and many of my friend’s mums not working, made me think that the ‘right thing to do’ was to be a stay-at-home mum. I had no idea that God had other plans.
I love my kiddo. He’s 4 now, and so full of beans. We play and have fun, we talk, and yes, we even argue. But he’s beautiful. I want nothing but the best for him. Of course, I thought that the best thing for him was for me to not go to work and be a stay-at-home mum, and homeschool him. I’ve since realised how that is not going to work for us, and that it really is okay!
This time about a year ago, I was struggling with whether or not I would stay home and homeschool, or if I would be one of the parents who sends their children to school. I suppose the way I was brought up made me think that home education was the most ideal thing, and sure, for some people, it really is the best thing. It was for me when I was growing up. But now? Not for my son. He thrives on people. He loves socialising and he’s such an extrovert (still not sure where he got that from!)
Within this past year, there was a lot of prayer and talking with other mums, and as parents, we decided not to homeschool. I wanted to start to study again, and then 6 months later the opportunity came up for me to return to work. I took that opportunity, and now I run my own business; I’m a “working mum”, with a 4yo who goes to an amazing babysitter the days I work, and next year he will go to Kindergarten, and then to school. It’s taken a long time for me to shake the guilt I felt, and to be honest, sometimes I still feel guilty. I feel like a bad person sending my child to someone else to look after so that I can work again. But does that make me a bad mum? No.
If you are there for your kids, you love them, and do your best to take care of them and yourself, you are an incredible parent. You need to show them love, at the same time as looking after yourself, because remember you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Some mums go to work, some work from home, and for some mums their kids, schooling, and homemaking is their work. And they are all super-mums in their own way, because what works for someone may not work for you.
I felt guilty, but I don’t anymore. Why? Because a) I’m following God’s call, and b) I’m doing the best thing for my family. My little social butterfly needs to be with people and will learn better away from me, and I need space so that I can be a better parent when we are together, and so that I can be in a better headspace for my husband.
If you’re a parent and you stay home with your kids, that’s incredible! If you’re a parent and you work, that’s amazing! If you don’t have kids, maybe take a minute to reach out to any of your friends who are parents… make sure they are doing okay, and remind them that they’re doing a great job. Encouragement rather than judgement all around.
I know this post has been a little of a ramble between homeschooling and working and such, but it’s just things I have been tossing around in my mind for some time now and had to share.
Just stay awesome, stay you, and stay true… to yourself, your family and your friends.
Love,
Julie xo