Thursday, the 12th of September, 2024. R U OK Day. Another year has rolled around. I’m starting to wonder if every year, every R U OK Day, I am a little more cynical than the last. In saying that, though, this is probably since I lost my friend to suicide late 2022. I didn’t get to ask him if he was OK. And even if I had, would he have been honest?
See, it gets easier to hide. To lie your way out of being asked. The not wanting to bother people with your crap, the not wanting to be a burden. It’s easier to just smile and say ‘yeah I’m good thanks!’ because being honest would take too long, dampen the conversation, ruin someone else’s day, kill the mood, etc etc etc.
But having been on all the sides – the one side that wants to unalive, another side that wants someone else to stay alive, and another side that lost someone who couldn’t stay alive – people need to know the importance of having these uncomfortable conversations. But not just on the 12th of September every year. Ask any day. Hell, ask EVERY day. Have the uncomfortable conversation. And show that you have the time, and the shoulders, to carry whatever they have to say.
And if someone asks you if you’re okay, don’t just sweep it under the carpet. Don’t just brush it off. Have the uncomfortable conversation, and then ask them also if they are okay. I know how hard it is to be okay sometimes. And how uncomfortable and isolating that feels. And that yucky feeling that creeps in after lying and telling someone that you’re fine when you’re not, quietly hoping that they’ll see through your lie, and then they don’t and they walk away and you’re left alone, quietly dying inside because they didn’t see it.
R U OK Day always brings a lot of heavy emotions for me. Partly from my own history, and partly from losing a friend. I think about him a lot at the moment. He was one of my big cheerleaders, and my life has changed so much in the past couple of years, and I wish he could be here to see what I’m doing and be building the life that he was building. It hurts my heart.
Please don’t hurt your loved ones’ hearts like mine hurts. I don’t blame him, he couldn’t fight anymore. But I don’t want anyone to go through the pain of loss like that, and on the other side, I don’t want to see people fighting alone like he was. Please talk. Please check on each other. Please phone Lifeline or Samaritans, Beyond Blue, whoever it is in your country. Please stay.
I didn’t have a plan in my head like I usually do when I started this post, I have ended up just sharing my heart with you, but I hope it stirs something. I hope it stirs your own heart, makes you think of someone you love, and most of all I hope it stirs conversation. Because EVERY DAY can be R U OK Day. Every day should be treated as such. Conversation should flow freely. Bit by bit, we are breaking the stigma around mental illness, as we should be. We have come so far. We just have to push past the discomfort.
So now I ask you, are you okay? My contact form is down at the moment and I am trying to fix it, but you can email me directly at julie@confessionsofasimplemum.com to drop me a line if you’re not okay and you need someone to talk to. And here is the list that I will continue to share, should someone need to make a call, or connect with someone online:
Australia:
Beyond Blue
Lifeline
Black Dog Institute
Emergency 000 Suicide Hotline 131114 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
United States:
The Sam Foundation
Lifeline US
Emergency 911
Suicide Hotline 988 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
United Kingdom:
West Sussex Mind
Bipolar UK (contains many helpful links)
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0800 689 5652 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Algeria:
Emergency 34342 and 43 Suicide Hotline 0021 3983 2000 58 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Angola:
Emergency 113 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Argentina:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 135 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Armenia:
Emergency 911 and 112 Suicide Hotline (2) 538194
Austria:
Emergency 112 Telefonseelsorge 24/7 142 Rat auf Draht 24/7 147 (Youth)
Bahamas:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline (2) 322-2763
Bahrain:
Emergency 999 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Bangladesh:
Emergency 999 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Barbados:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline Samaritan Barbados (246) 4299999
Belgium:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline Stichting Zelfmoordlijn 1813
Bolivia:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 3911270 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Bosnia & Herzegovina:
Suicide Hotline 080 05 03 05
Botswana:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline +2673911270 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Brazil:
Emergency 188 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Bulgaria:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0035 9249 17 223
Burindi:
Emergency 117 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Burkina Faso:
Emergency 17 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Canada:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 1 (833) 456 4566 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Chad:
More Hotlines In-Person Counseling Emergency 2251-1237
China:
Emergency 110 Suicide Hotline 800-810-1117
Colombia:
24/7 Helpline in Barranquilla 1(00 57 5) 372 27 27 24/7 Hotline Bogota (57-1) 323 24 25 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Congo:
Emergency 117
Costa Rica:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 506-253-5439 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Croatia:
Emergency 112 More Hotlines
Cyprus:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 8000 7773
Czech Republic:
Emergency 112
Denmark:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 4570201201
Ecuador:
Emergency 911 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Egypt:
Emergency 122 Suicide Hotline 131114 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
El Salvador:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 126 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Equatorial Guinea:
Emergency 114 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Estonia:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 3726558088 ; in Russian 3726555688
Ethiopia:
Emergency 911 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Finland:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 010 195 202
France:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0145394000 More Hotlines
Germany:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0800 111 0 111 More Hotlines
Ghana:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline 2332 444 71279 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Greece:
Emergency 1018
Guatemala:
Emergency 110 Suicide Hotline 5392-5953 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Guinea:
More Hotlines In-Person Counseling Emergency 117
Guinea Bissau:
More Hotlines In-Person Counseling Emergency 117
Guyana:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline 223-0001
Holland:
Suicide Hotline 09000767
Hong Kong:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline 852 2382 0000
Hungary:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 116123
India:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 8888817666 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Indonesia:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255 More Hotlines
Iran:
Emergency 110 Suicide Hotline 1480
Ireland:
Emergency 116123 Suicide Hotline +4408457909090 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Israel:
Emergency 100 Suicide Hotline 1201 More Hotlines
Italy:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 800860022
Jamaica:
Suicide Hotline 1-888-429-KARE (5273)
Japan:
Emergency 110 Suicide Hotline 810352869090
Jordan:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 110 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Kenya:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline 722178177 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Kuwait:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 94069304 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Latvia:
Emergency 113 Suicide Hotline 371 67222922
Lebanon:
Suicide Hotline 1564
Liberia:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 6534308 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Luxembourg:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 352 45 45 45
Madagascar:
Emergency 117 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Malaysia:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline (06) 2842500 More Hotlines
Mali:
Emergency 8000-1115 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Malta:
Suicide Hotline 179
Mauritius:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline +230 800 93 93
Mexico:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 5255102550 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Netherlands:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 900 0113 More Hotlines
New Zealand:
Emergency 111 Suicide Hotline 1737 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Niger:
Emergency 112 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Nigeria:
Suicide Hotline 234 8092106493 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Norway:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline +4781533300
Pakistan:
Emergency 115 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Peru:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 381-3695 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Philippines:
Emergency 911 Suicide Hotline 028969191 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Poland:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 5270000
Portugal:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 21 854 07 40 and 8 96 898 21 50
Qatar:
Emergency 999 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Romania:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0800 801200 More Hotlines
Russia:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0078202577577
Saint Vincent and the Grenadines:
Suicide Hotline 9784 456 1044
São Tomé and Príncipe:
Suicide Hotline (239) 222-12-22 ext. 123 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Saudi Arabia:
Emergency 112 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Serbia:
Suicide Hotline (+381) 21-6623-393
Senegal:
Emergency 17 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Singapore:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline 1 800 2214444 More Hotlines
Spain:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 914590050 More Hotlines
South Africa:
Emergency 10111 Suicide Hotline 0514445691 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
South Korea:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline (02) 7158600 More Hotlines
Sri Lanka:
Suicide Hotline 011 057 2222662
Sudan:
Suicide Hotline (249) 11-555-253 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Sweden:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 46317112400 More Hotlines
Switzerland:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 143 More Hotlines
Tanzania:
Emergency 112 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Thailand:
Suicide Hotline (02) 713-6793
Tonga:
Suicide Hotline 23000
Trinidad and Tobago:
Suicide Hotline (868) 645 2800
Tunisia:
Emergency 197 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Turkey:
Emergency 112
Uganda:
Emergency 112 Suicide Hotline 0800 21 21 21 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
United Arab Emirates:
Suicide Hotline 800 46342 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Zambia:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline +260960264040 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Zimbabwe:
Emergency 999 Suicide Hotline 080 12 333 333 More Hotlines In-Person Counseling
Remember how loved you are.
Yours,
Julie x