An open letter to my depression.
Inspired by the lyrics “Jar of Hearts”, by Christina Perri, which are as follows:
I know I can’t take one more step towards you
Cause all that’s waiting is regret.
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most.
I learned to live, half alive,
And now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms.
I learned to live, half alive,
And now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?
It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back,
You don’t get to get me back.
Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all.
Who do you think you are?
Runnin round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Depression, I’m not taking one more step towards you.
The only things you hold for me are pain and regret.
I’m not your ghost anymore, you have no place in me. You made me lose myself.
I learned how to live, only half alive.
And now you want me one more time? I don’t think so!
Seriously, who do you think you are??
Running around, leaving scars, both physically and emotionally.
You collect people’s hearts, you stop them from seeing who they really are, and from feeling. You tear lives and loves apart!
You are cold and heartless. Don’t come back for me! Who do you think you are?
You might come back looking for me, to try and hurt me again; we know the devil prowls around like a lion, coming to devour who he can. But he won’t win. You won’t win.
I have grown too strong to fall back into your arms – the Lord has equipped me with strength and courage to withstand you.
Sure, I learned to live only being half alive, but that’s not good enough anymore. You want me one more time? Not happening!
Just who do you think you are?? Running around leaving scars. Physical and emotional scars. Taking hold of people’s hearts and lives, tearing them apart.
You are cold. Heartless. Soulless. Don’t you dare come back for me.
It took so long just to feel alright. Even just to feel again.
To remember how to smile, to put the light back in my eyes.
I wish I had missed the first time we met, when you took a hold of me, when you made me pick up a razor and cut.
You broke me, and cutting broke the promise of making me feel alright.
You might try to come back, but you don’t get to get me back!!
Who do you think you are?? I have scars on my arm because of you. You hurt me. You broke my heart. You hurt the people I love.
You cold, heartless, tormentor. Don’t you dare come back for me. Don’t you dare.
Who do you think you are? I don’t know, but I do know that I am a child of the Living God, and you can not come back and take a hold on me, or my life, ever again. My God is bigger than you will ever be. Through Him, I have defeated you. You are nothing to me. You. Are. NOTHING.
Sincerely,
Me. A precious child of God. Who you no longer have the power over.
